What Does It Mean to be "Everything" to a Wife

It's a matter of perception. It's an individual's perception of the most important things in life. It is not necessarily truly EVERYTHING.

So, how can a husband be everything to his wife. Well, he already is - that's why she married him. You can't wiggle out of it because you already are her EVERYTHING. And guess what - you don't really have to do a whole lot to stay in top position if you're already her everything.

What does a wife want and need from the guy to whom she said, "I do?"

1. She wants to be first in his thoughts and his number one priority... she wants him to give up the football game if she is having a heart attack, or come home early from work if her best friend dies. In other words, she wants her man to want her to need him and be happy that he can be there for those bad times as well as the good.

2. She wants communication - real talk back and forth. She does not want a grunt from behind a newspaper or a book. She will expect at least an acknowledgement when she says something to you - all statements and questions are not rhetorical. If you say "huh" more than 5 times a day when she speaks, you are definitely distracted and not paying attention. And if you are not distracted or are paying attention and say "huh" more than 5 times a day, please check into a hearing aid.

3. She wants you to look at her - really and truly look at her. If she spends an hour or two getting herself dolled up, for whom do you think she did it? To have you look straight through her or over her is an act of rejection before you even get to the part where you reject her. She feels like you're warming up for the main event, and she knows she's going to feel really bad.

4. She wants you to respect her and admire her. If you don't, why did you marry her? And if you don't respect and admire her, figure out why not and tell her how to fix it. And always remember while you are dishing out that news that you've aged and changed, too.

5. She wants to be touched. She wants to be hugged. She wants you to look at her like you look at a well cooked steak when you are really hungry. She wants you to be hungry for her and make love to her like you mean it not like it's an obligation.

6. She wants to do "stuff" with you. It doesn't have to be big stuff all the time - a picnic in the spring, a long drive on Sunday with the dogs, a movie, trying a new restaurant and "rating" it (that's conversation), planning a special trip even if you have to save for it for a couple of years - the planning and anticipation is sharing something. And a side note here - women do not really like to go shopping with their husbands. They slow them down and distract them from their creative thinking. Yes, shopping takes creative thinking, and when she sees your eyes glazing over, it totally destroys all creative juices that were flowing before you walked up and said, "Find anything?"

7. She wants some guidance from time to time when she doesn't understand something of which you are much better informed. She'd like you to do that without making her feel "ignorant."

8. And I know this is probably hard for couples who've been together for awhile, but women just love for their men to flirt with them. A surprising sexy little wink can go a long way.

I think probably the hardest thing on this list for most men is communication. Some men are great at it - really smooth, silver-tongued devils. And you know, it's sad, but we crave that talk so much that we don't even care if the man is lying sometimes just so we get that input we need so much.

I guess what I'm saying here is that we just want you to participate in your marriage. It's your marriage, too, guys, and if you expect to elicit any happiness from it, you may have to step out of your comfort zone. But, trust me, your WOMAN OF A CERTAIN AGE will make it well worth the effort. © Faye Combs

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