is not a place; it's an adjective.
According to the Merriam-Webster Dictionary online:
frumpy adjective \ˈfrəm-pē\
frump·i·erfrump·i·est
Definition of FRUMPY
: dowdy, drab
Well, looks like we need another definition. What is dowdy?
dowdy - adjective
dowd·i·er - dowd·i·est
Definition of DOWDY
1: not neat or becoming in appearance : shabby
2 a : lacking smartness or taste
b : old-fashioned
— dowd·i·ly adverb
— dowd·i·ness noun
— dowdy·ish adjective
Have you had an "AHA" moment yet?
It seems that what we are being told here is that to be frumpy one must be drab, lacking smartness or taste, being somewhat old-fashioned, and a bit shabby. Well, that doesn't sound good. We'd better get cracking on this and fix things. And the perfect way to start is with a good immediate look in the mirror? What do you see? Ah, have you given up a bit on the "smartness and taste" thing? What do you wear to bed at night? Do you ever take the time to pamper yourself - nails, body wash, body lotion, good hair cut, nice signature fragrance. Do you wear makeup tastefully and appropriately for your age? That is all the beginning of going from frumpy to fabulous. Let's continue this journey.
Actually, the things I mentioned above are not so much about pampering as they are just taking care of yourself. Your nails should always be clean and well manicured. They don't even have to have nail polish on them, but cleanliness is a must. Body wash has essential oils in it that moisturize the skin during a bath. Did you know that plain old soap and water can dry out your skin? And if you are a "woman of a certain age," you must avoid things that dry the skin. Body lotion leaves your skin smelling good and feeling good as well as moisturizing it. Do it right before you crawl into bed. I'll bet your guy's olfactory senses will perk up, and you might just get a nice compliment on how nice you smell. And don't ignore your teeth. Teeth can be a dead giveaway of your age. If your teeth are healthy but a bit yellowed by time, food and drink, then perhaps you might consider having them whitened. Use a Panasonic toothbrush and a water pik for optimal cleaning. There's nothing like being confident of a clean fresh mouth when you are about to be kissed.
What kind of hair cut are you wearing? Does it suit your facial type? Have you even thought about it? If you are jowly around your jaws, you cannot wear a pixie haircut. You can wear a relatively short haircut if that is your choice as long as you choose a cut that covers the jawline. But don't go above the ears whatever you do. That is one of the most aging things I see women do. They give up on their hair, and a woman's hair is a very important attribute. If you are a woman of a certain age, please put a bit of color on your hair to even things up. You are probably in the "salt and pepper" phase, and nothing is more aging to a woman than "salt and pepper" hair. If it's one color, there are things you can do, but the "salt and pepper" phase is one with which you need to deal. And a little hair color can be your best friend during this phase.
What is your signature fragrance? What was that? You don't have one? Well, get one. Test out some that appeal to you, and your signature fragrance should be the one that elicits the most compliments when you wear it. I have two - one for day and one for night because you really should wear something lighter during the day, and something a little heavier and sexier for a night out.
Do you wear makeup, or did you give up on that bothersome stuff long ago? You need a little makeup. Every old barn needs a coat of paint once in awhile. The older you are the less foundation makeup you should use because the foundation tends to finds its way into fine lines and wrinkles and draw attention to them. Less is more. DO NOT wear red lipstick. In my opinion, there are only a few people on this planet who can wear red lipstick. I think Taylor Swift is one of them, but I definitely can't, and I don't know many people who can. A little powder, light foundation, flattering lipstick and a quick application of mascara is good day makeup, and it doesn't take more than 10 minutes - probably more like 5 minutes - to apply it.
Now, on to the FABULOUS clothes. Note, I did not say, on to the FRUMPY clothes. What are you wearing? Where do you buy your clothes? This is a treacherous time in our lives because it is hard to be fashionable and stylish and remain age appropriate. But it can be done. And here's how you do it. You pay attention to what you look like. Take a close honest friend shopping with you. Ask your friend's opinion of what you try on. You ask opinions of sales people, and ask them to be honest. Ask opinions of other customers in the dressing room. Learn how to look at yourself critically. Truthfully, that top you are eyeing may be beautiful, but does it hug you too snugly around the middle? If it does, it's going to look terrible on you, and the beauty of the top will not be noticed. Stay away from body hugging clothes unless you have had lipo on everything from the neck down or are naturally very thin. You do not want to look like one of those "K Mart People" whose pictures are sent around the internet.
All this talk about things fitting too snugly does not mean you have to wear baggy clothes - a garment should skim your body but not look like you have a bandaid around you. Wait, I got ahead of myself. What kind of underwear are you wearing? Please don't tell me you're wearing granny panties. Yes, I know, the articles say we should wear cotton for all kinds of reasonable reasons. But, I think you will be fine if just one portion of the panties is cotton, and you know what portion that is. Are you still trying to squeeze your bottom into bikini underwear? That is not age appropriate or smart especially if you have anything other than a concave stomach. You can be sexy and stylish and not wear bikini panties. Go for something pretty with a high cut on the legs. (They say the legs are the last to go. I'm counting on that.) A pretty bra that fits you and supports you and matches those pretty panties gets a thumbs up. If you have never been properly measured for a bra, do that immediately because the uplift from a properly fitting bra can make you look perkier, i.e., younger.
What kind of pants do you wear? Do they look good on you? Do those jeans fit you, or are you faking it? I know that we all like to wear jeans, but sometimes they present a problem because they aren't made to fit older bodies. I am getting nothing from this recommendation - no compensation whatsoever, but I have a suggestion to make. If you have never shopped on television, turn on HSN or QVC the next time a fashion show is on. The clothes are good quality, and they fit better than anything you will ever find in a department store. That's because they use real women as fit models. And Diane Gilman who sells jeans on HSN has designed jeans that look absolutely fabulous on older women simply by putting in more stretch and making the waist a size that fits the aging female body. I know of what I speak because I have bought her jeans. I wouldn't buy jeans anywhere else because they fit.
Do you wear dresses, or are they a distant memory? Perhaps you should bring a couple of dresses back into your life. Men like them and find them feminine. They can see our legs, and I think a lot of men are very attracted to female legs. So, what kind of dress should you buy. Again, avoid anything that hugs your body - something that skims your body, ends at the knee, and covers the upper arm. The 3/4 sleeve is the greatest thing that's come along in a long while. And a lot of women have responded to it. Don't buy anything uncomfortable that pinches or binds or just makes it hard to move. A dress should be flowy and move. It should cover up the parts you want to cover and show the parts that you want to show. And make sure at least one of your dresses is "the little black dress." That's an essential in your wardrobe. You will reach for it constantly because it is appropriate for most occasions.
Avoid crew necks. OMG, there went all your tee shirts. Don't wear those things because they cut you off at a place on your neck that makes you look like you don't have a neck. Open up your neckline and suddenly your neck looks twice as long.
Things you should not wear to bed: flannel, dirty tee shirt, socks, a nightgown that fastens around your neck.
Things you should wear to bed: perfume, anything soft and feminine, your most flattering color
Things I find tasteful and age appropriate:
Well tailored jackets - some serious and some whimsical
A line skirts look good on everybody
Oh, and what the heck has happened to the popular pant suits - they are very flattering if they fit properly.
Skirts that DO NOT come two inches below the knee or lower - that's an unflattering, frumpy look if the skirt is too long. If you do choose to wear a skirt of the longer length, I suggest wearing a boot with that skirt.
Nice shoes that are not scarred and dirty - they don't have to be high heels; I know how difficult those things can be at this age. Just go out and try some shoes on and keep an open mind. I recommend a comfortable and stylish shoe with a wedge heel.
And your most fun and flattering new purchases could very well be a good looking pair of boots and a leather jacket that is appropriate for your age. I'd stay away from the rock and roll stuff with all the studs and I'd also stay away from the very short jackets that hit us "women of a certain age" at the wrong place. Yes, I know - they are really hot, but we can find something else in leather that is hot and doesn't draw the wrong kind of attention. Have fun with the leather. It is ok to wear it at our age as long as it is cut properly. Note that Dianne Keaton is wearing a very stylish leather jacket in the picture below. And also note that it is not black. There is no fashion law that says a leather jacket has to be black. A leather jacket in a pretty color can be fun and fashionable.
Carry a bag like you are wearing jewelry. These days a great handbag is like a piece of beautiful jewelry for the arm or shoulder.
That's it. If you are wearing granny panties, no makeup, not doing anything to your hair, not taking care of your hygiene, wearing ill fitting clothes or clothes that are not age appropriate, garments that cut you off in the wrong places like crew necks, flannel nightgowns or pajamas, bunny slippers, anything plaid, not bothering with a scent and generally schlepping along looking like God's wrath has hit you full force, then you have qualified for the definition of Frumpy.
The good news is that you can reverse this condition. You can go from frumpy to fabulous. It just takes caring and an investment of some time. Good luck to all of you and let me know if you try any of these tips, and you get compliments.
Sometimes, we get to Frumpyville from years of neglect and feeling as though no one cares. But there is one person on this planet that really should be caring, and that is YOU! Do it for you.
You might also like:
Stoltz Image Consulting - Who is Perceived as Frumpy
An Everyday Woman's Guide to Go From.......Frumpy to Fantastical
(For your Kindle)
Frumpy to Fabulous: Flaunting It: Your Ultimate Guide to Effortless Style
(A regular book)
Frumpy - a Woman Regarded as Dull, Plain, or Unfashionable
Really good article with some great tips.
If any of my tips appear in these books, I promise you it is pure coincidence. I have not read either of them. And please remember that all my tips are aimed at the "Woman of a Certain Age."
This lady is my personal favorite style icon for "women of a certain age." This is Diane Keaton, and she is 66 years old. Her style is impeccable. Note the open neckline, the nice but not overdone jacket, the perfectly cut hairstyle, color in her hair that lights up her face, and soft and pretty makeup that is perfect for day or night. I know you're sitting there thinking, "But she's so slender." It doesn't matter. Anybody can be smart and stylish at any size. You might have to be more creative and think about it more, but it can be done. The average size of the American woman is a 14.
© Faye Combs
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