Remember the Mickey Mouse Club, and every day was a special day and had a name? Hence the title of this blog. The title is nonsensical, but wait to hear about The Doughnut Hole provision in Medicare. Isn't that the cutest name for a Medicare provision? And I ask my husband what that means, and he says, "I think that's talking about Part D." Well, I've sort of worked through A, B and C, but I had no idea that there was a doughnut hole named D of which I was unaware.
A woman of a certain age will soon face what is known on socialsecurity.gov as "retirement." I don't know when they started calling social security benefits "retirement" because a woman of 62 might very well choose to work a few more years. I have embarked on a new phase in my life. I will be eligible for Medicare in June of this year. I visited a few sites and made the mistake of filling out some forms. OMG! My phone is ringing non-stop and my message machine is full of messages from eager insurance sales people. They are like hungry vultures circling reminding me of my advancing birthday which will officially turn me into an old lady. Well, no, I refuse to cop to that - I'm still a woman of a certain age, but I am getting real close to the end of this chapter. See what those bastards have done to me. In just a matter of days they have turned me into an old lady. I knew this would happen. Michael has badgered me to "check on some insurance plans" to supplement my Medicare, and I am going to be harassed from the day I filled out those forms till I drop dead by insurance companies. See, it doesn't stop when you sign up and choose a supplemental or Advantage plan. You have to renew the damn thing every year, so the insurance vultures will come circling every single freaking year. They even turn it into a game and call it "Open Enrollment," and if Open Enrollment slams shut before you make your choice, you are out of luck. I have come to the conclusion that I am going to get a telephone with several mail boxes. The message for the mail box dedicated to insurance sales people will be something of this nature:
"If you are an insurance agent calling to remind me of my advancing age and my insurance needs, please be advised that I have already made my decision and will not be calling you back. I do not anticipate you calling me back, although I know that is too good to be true. Please do not bother unless you can provide the following:
1. A premium that costs me nothing.
2. A plan that pays for everything no questions asked even experimental testing, treatments and drugs.
3. A plan that does not question my choice of drugs, i.e., brand name over crappy generic drugs that we all know don't work or don't work even half as well as the name brand.
4. A plan that is very into preventive medicine, exercise, healthy diet, etc, and will pay for expensive health clubs and gyms, as well as expensive exercise equipment in case I don't want to leave my home.
5. A plan that will pay for a personal grocery shopper who is trained in nutrition and will make all those agonizing choices for me.
6. A really super premium plan that will pay for me to have a chef in my home who will prepare these healthy meals bought by my personal grocery shopper.
Find me all that, and we'll talk."
Everybody of this age goes through this. I just want to enjoy one of the few benefits of growing older - cheaper health care and drugs. I didn't know I would be the center of attention of every insurance agent in Middle Tennessee, and that my phone would ring relentlessly all day long till my 65th birthday and probably beyond. And you get assaulted with junk in your mail, too. It was bad enough right before I turned 50, and I found out my husband had enrolled me in AARP. He knew I wouldn't join that organization for little old men and women. I was horrified when my first issue appeared. And the truth was revealed. The perpetrator was nailed to the wall as he admitted he signed me up. That's a sad thing to do to someone you love.
I am actually providing some helpful links if you are going through this Social Security/Medicare maze. Happy hunting, and I hope you get the deal I set out above.
Social Security
Medicare
AARP
Watch out for AARP because they have their own agenda and are selling insurance.
I believe it was on this site I read about the Doughnut Hole. Our government is so clever. They are so good with code names. I mean, after all, the code for D-Day was "Mickey Mouse." Look it up. It's true.
Word of advice - and this is BIG! Don't fill out forms on the internet. You will never be rid of the insurance vultures as long as you live if you do. However, I do suggest you carefully choose a few agents to discuss things with and compare their information and what they offer. Trust me, they won't tell a soul because they want your business. It's those online forms that will do you in.
I always include a video with my blogs, and I just had to use this one. We can all relate to cute perky little Patty Duke - she was one of us. She still is. I love this video - she's right. It is a big moment - it is somewhat emotional and a bit melancholy filing for Social Security. It means your working years are over. I get what she is saying. I'm a lot better on my computer than she is, but I get what she's saying. However, just because you draw Social Security and Medicare benefits does not in any way mean you can't be a productive citizen - you may do it differently than you did it in earlier years, but there is something you can contribute. We all have our gifts.
©Faye Combs
Watch Patty Duke apply online for Social Security retirement and Medicare benefits at home in her pajamas.
To apply online visit
http://www.socialsecurity.gov/pgm/retirement.htm
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