Married men go looking for sex outside of marriage for a number of reasons. They get married, settle down, have the wife and home and the image. They bond with the recliner for awhile,, and then they get a little itchy - unless their libido is low. If their libido is low, they can sit in that recliner till judgment day and be content.
By this time, the wife has probably given up and resigned herself to a life of "ho hum." Some never resign themselves to ho-hum! Good for you, girls!
I have never been able to "resign" myself to anything. I always go down fighting if I go down. But because the wife resigns herself and believes her husband is a "good man," but the fire has just gone out, she starts to putz around the house in plaid flannel and bunny slippers. The men are no better. My husband walked through here recently in a pair of underwear that looked like something he wore when he was fifteen. I said, "What the h--l have you got on - where did that underwear come from?" And he's like, "Oh yeah, I know, they're pretty bad - they're old." Yeah, I'll say. About 30 years old from the looks of them. See, he didn't give a sh-- that he looked totally ridiculous because he is so comfortable with me. He is so comfortable with me that sometimes I feel like a well worn pair of old shoes. There is a fine line with being "comfortable" with one another and just not caring. I'm guilty. You should see some of my bedtime attire. So, here we all are - sloppy and sloppier - trying to find our way through this marriage thing. When I read this over before publishing it, I felt a real fondness for those old underwear I wrote about because I had just watched a video about cheating men, and according to the info on this video one of the ways you are supposedly able to tell if a man is cheating is if he starts buying new underwear. I know - that doesn't make a lot of sense unless he had all bad underwear to begin with, and then he goes out and buys designer underwear in silk. That might make me a little curious. But come on - give me a break. He's cheating because he buys new underwear?
So the husband in one of these "tired" scenarios is out one day and sees a hot chick in Starbucks, and she grins at him. After all, he's probably looking dapper in his nice suit to go to the office. In reality, she is probably grinning because she's thinking about the hot sex she had with a young guy the night before. Life is a sitcom, isn't it? It depends on how you look at it. Itchy dapper Man goes in for the kill, and the adrenaline rushes. He hasn't felt the thrill of the hunt in years. This is great. And that's how it all starts. Itchy Dapper Man does not always have a frumpy wife in an old sweatshirt at home. Itchy Dapper Man might have a fabulous looking career oriented wife who is probably too tired to stroke his ego the way it needs to be stroked. Men - all men - respond to ego stroking, but when you live with a man and see all his faults and flaws, it gets hard to do that real serious stroking. I mean you live with the truth - right? And let's be real here - they live with our flaws, too. This is why marriage takes work.
Why can't we just all be happy and equal and want the same things? We just can't. It's the way we are - Venus and Mars. What really gets me is that men fantasize about a 6 foot tall woman in stillettos with long silky hair, pouty lips, skinny as a rail except for her boobs and her pumped up JLO ass. He is no doubt somewhere between 5'8" and 5'10", is
overweight and paunchy, and gets out of breath when he brushes the dog. But the woman I described is his ideal, and he will always be on the lookout for her.
Women fantasize about a faceless man who puts a blindfold on them and kisses them tenderly, takes them by the hand, leads them to a special place where he removes the blindfold only to surprise us with the most romantic of scenes - a beautiful candelit table with nothing but our favorite dessert which he then suggests we carry back to the bed and indulge in together.
See the difference - night and day. Now you tell me the scene I described didn't do something for your libido, ladies.
We will always be on the lookout for faceless man, but secretly we are all hoping the face will become that of our husband, and if that should happen, we would have as close to perfection as it gets.
Let me end this by assuring all of you that I have not caught my husband cheating - that's not where this is going. But I've seen it happen over and over to women who are crazy beautiful. My husband and I, however, can both be careless about the way we look sometimes and about the way we treat one another. It may not be as painful to lose your husband to the television set as it is to lose him to a younger woman, but the result is probably the same. You are going to spend a lot of time alone.
If any of you have a sure fire way that you think keeps fire in a marriage, I'd love to read your comments. This is a subject that I would like to hear from the men on, also. Click on the words Post a Comment here on this page, and it will open up a pop up window where you can say what's on your mind.
© Faye Combs
3 comments:
Well, I like dessert and eating in bed....does that make me every woman's dream material?
Ah, Ron, a lot of people like those things, but it's the way you are brought to those things that count. It's basically a "setup," but that's ok as long as the outcome is good.
Did someone say something about eating in bed..I love it. Just no crackers, please. Actually, I saw something on t.v. about making ones self a sexy short dress out of plastic wrap. I bought several rolls, and stripped off naked. I rubbed my body down with Satsuma body butter, and proceeded to make my sexy little dress. I pulled it extra tight, and did a fine job, one shoulder bare with the other shoulder covered in the Saran and pulled tight. Well, don't you know that the plastic caused my body to perspire and the plastic began to constrict, and rool into tight strios that were cutting into my skin. I was unable to start to cut it off me as it was digging deeper and deeper into my skin. My husband walked into the house just in time to save me from my dress. He was able to start at the bottom with the scissors and release me from that monster of a sexy dress. I had to promise to never do anything so damn stupid again, and if I wanted sex, just to ask for it. He'd be happy to oblige, but not that night, he as too exhausted from cutting that dress off me.
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